No Light, No Light
by rain1657
Summary: "No light, no light in your bright blue eyes, I never knew daylight could be so violent. A revelation in the light of day, you can't choose what stays and what fades away. And I'll do anything to make you stay." It was something Dawson wished she had said before that call, before it all changed. But that wasn't something she could dwell on when Shay's blood was everywhere.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **Just because it needs to be said, I don't own Chicago Fire. If I did, well we'd all be watching a completely different show. I should also point out that I let stories write themselves, so who knows where this one will take us. Therefore count on spoilers for all aired episodes, just in case.

* * *

**Prologue**

Pain.

That was the first thing she became aware of. There was a pain that was overwhelming; a pain that was piercing through her. Pain that she had never felt before nor imagined could ever exist.

There was pain. It was consuming. It was disorienting. It was _wrong_.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, the idea that there should be a bright light nagged at her consciousness. That's what she had always been told at least. In high school they had studied Plato's Myth of Er. In his afterlife there had been two tunnels side by side with judges seated between them. He had been guided through the process and told that he would come back and tell everyone what he had seen. She was apparently not even worth something that simple. Where were her guides? Where was her light? Where was her warmth and comfort?

Maybe it was lost in the midst of all the pain. She coughed. Could it be that she hadn't died after all?

Her lungs burned and the air tasted of smoke and dust. She took a ragged breath. It felt chalky, if that was even a way to describe air. She tried to focus on everything around her, but the air was too thick and had caught in her throat.

Panic set in as she tried desperately to breath normally. At this point, she would have killed to be Er. To be walking in the afterlife where nothing hurt and nothing really mattered. Fuck, she'd even settle for being Dante, forced to wander the nine circles of Hell for an eternity. She'd give anything to be far away from this place and the fire that tore through her like molten blades.

She coughed again and winced, this time at the pain that followed. _Nothing_ felt right.

She blinked a few times; her eyelids felt heavy like they had been caked in cement. The world around her was grey. What wasn't grey - well that was simply dark. A small beam of light filtered through the haze in front of her. This world was disjointed and confusing.

Nothing made sense.

_Maybe this is my own personal hell_, she thought as she coughed for a third time. Air moved harshly through her lungs again. She raised her hand to slowly wipe at her eyes. God, everything felt like it was on fire. Every small movement caused agony to prickle down nerve endings that were too raw, too exposed. All of her muscles screamed in pain at even this small task. She rubbed roughly at her eyes and blinked again. This time the world snapped roughly into focus. The outskirts remained dark and unfocused, but the objects in the grey became more corporeal.

She shifted and yelped at the feeling of lightning tearing down her left arm. It felt like someone had closed her shoulder in a vice and was tightening it every time she moved. Hot needle-like misery shot down to her fingertips as she forced herself into a sitting position. She carefully cradled her arm closer to her body to keep it safe from any unnecessary jostling.

It was then that she noticed the discomfort radiating from the back of her head. It was distracting and more than a little painful. If she was being honest with herself, it felt like the back of her head had been smashed in with a hammer. Nausea set in as she moved a little too quickly. The world around her swam dangerously like the depths of the sea tossing a small boat. Her eyes closed immediately in a vain attempt to keep her food from coming back up. Air hissed out between her teeth with even the most subtle of movements.

Concussion. That much was obvious. All the signs were pointing to that as a diagnosis. Between the nausea, the radiating pain that moved all over her head every time she took a breath, and the fact that her vision was swimming, it was pretty clear that she had hit her head at some point.

She tried to think back to what had happened to land her in this position with a possibly dislocated shoulder, a concussion and several possibly broken ribs. The only thing she could remember was that they had been called out to a bomb threat on an office building. A twenty-story building needed to be evacuated and Engine 81, Rescue 3, and Ambulance 61 had been dispatched. The police had needed help clearing the building.

_Oh God_, she thought as the memory of what happened flashed graphically in her mind. _The officers on scene reported that EOD had been dispatched, but would take some time in responding. She could tell by looking at the Chief's face that they needed to get the building clear and fast. They didn't have enough people to search, especially with the on scene police officers holding down the perimeter. She had done the math. If the guys worked in pairs to clear the floors and worked from the roof down, it would still take them too long to make sure everyone got out. They needed all the help they could get._

_It's all my fault._

_She hadn't hesitated to toss on her turnout gear before she barreled head first into the targeted building. It definitely wasn't in the protocol for medics to enter a building before it had been cleared. However, the voices of her colleagues had been enough to push her over the edge. If there actually was a bomb, there was a chance they wouldn't get all the floors cleared in time. That much had been obvious in the desperate tone the guys had taken over the radio. There just weren't enough hands. Images of New York and Oklahoma City flashed through her mind as she charged headlong into the building._

_She didn't have to look to know that her partner was right behind her. That was the kind of person she was. Her partner would be there right next to her, no matter what shit she managed to get into. She would follow blindly into danger if it meant that she would be there to back her up. Her partner would be there to pick up the pieces when she royally fucked up._

_And fuck up she had._

She coughed again as her eyes scanned the area around her. Concrete and twisted metal looked like odd stalagmites that rose threateningly from the ground. "Shay?" she croaked out as she pushed herself onto her knees.

"Shay! Answer me!" she demanded as she carefully picked her way over the treacherous piles of debris. She tried to focus on finding her partner and not let her mind wander to the events that led up to this exact moment.

_She had run into the building and started searching from the basement up. They had been trained for this and they could help. She ignored the chief's voice that crackled over her radio telling her to pull out, to let the boys and the police handle it. She had thought she could get something accomplished even if it meant saving only one person. They had made it to the third floor before a voice cut through the silence telling them all to retreat. The bomb had been located and it was set to go off at any minute._

_She tossed a look to her partner, saw the same panic on pale features and then turned to find a way out. She sprinted towards the stairs, praying that they had enough time to get out. She took the stairs two at a time_; "Almost there, keep going,"_ she repeated to herself as she forced her feet to go faster._

_She felt the air rushing past her before she heard the explosion. It was like everything was being sucked backwards into the very bowels of the building. She knew what was coming and managed one last look at her partner to convey just how fucking sorry she was that she had led them into this. Her partner's eyes softened in understanding and forgiveness before the loudest sound she had ever heard ripped through the building, pierced her ears and ran mercilessly in her mind. The floor they had been standing on suddenly gave out under them and she felt herself falling among bright flashes of light and pulsating forces of sound that threatened to rip her apart._

_The last thing she saw was her partner reaching out towards her. She found herself reaching back in a sad attempt to grab hold, to protect her partner from the pain that was heading their way. She saw the pale hand reaching helplessly towards her, and heard a sickening sound before pain erupted everywhere on her body._

_Then nothing..._

She shook her head slightly, trying to fight the fog and haze that wanted to take over. Shay needed her; she needed her to be alert and ready to go when she finally found the blonde. "Leslie, I swear to God," she murmured. She couldn't help but notice the quiver of fear and panic that ran thickly through her voice. She tried to take a deep breath to steady her nerves. Falling apart now wouldn't help Shay or herself. She needed to stay focused.

A shock of blonde hair caught her attention as her brown eyes scanned the area around her. "Shay!" she shouted as she scrambled the best she could toward the other woman. She dropped to her knees next to her and had to bite back the cry of anguish that threatened to rip from her throat.

This was bad. This was very, very bad.

Everything slowed down as she took in the state of her friend. The first thing she noticed was the large piece of concrete that was laying on Shay's lower half, effectively pinning her in place. The second thing she noticed was the blood.

Blood was something she was used to. She saw it everyday on the ambulance. It was something she understood and knew how to deal with. Except when it was seeping out of her best friend. That was something she was not equipped to deal with.

There was blood everywhere. It was on her, under her, streaking her blonde hair in a way that seemed like it belonged in a cheap horror movie instead of real life. There was just too much blood.

The third thing she noticed as the medic in her scanned for injuries was the piece of rebar that was sticking out of the right side of her chest by her shoulder. She bit back a sob as her shaky hand reached out to feel for any signs of life in her partner. Her fingers pressed firmly against Shay's neck, hoping and praying for the steady thump-thump of her heartbeat.

_Don't be dead. Please God, don't be dead_, she repeated silently to herself as she waited with bated breath to feel any signs of life from the woman lying prone before her.

_I need you to be alive. Please be alive._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm going to try and keep the schedule of posting a chapter a week. As always, I don't own them... I just take them out for a joyride everyone once in a while. Massive thanks to AliceBB for being a kick ass beta. Enjoy!

* * *

Several Hours Earlier

"Hey Shay," Dawson smiled as she placed a coffee and a bagel on the bench seat beside her partner. Hands free, she then hauled herself into the rig.

"Morning," the blonde greeted as she tossed some gauze back in its place and secured the compartment door. "Thanks for the breakfast," she raised her cup in cheers before taking a sip.

Dawson shrugged and bumped Shay's shoulder with her own. "Any time. I know you like the coffee from the cafe near my place," she took a bite of her own bagel. "How was your night last night?"

Done with the brief inventory, they both settled on the tail of the ambulance. Shay smiled and bought herself some more time to answer by taking another drink of her coffee.

"Are you blushing?"

Shay sputtered. "What!? No!"

"Oh my God, you are! Spill! How was she?" Dawson asked as she turned to faec her partner.

Shay smiled again as she picked at her 'everything' bagel, the smile still firmly in place.

Dawson's eyes widened. "That good, huh?"

Shay nodded. "So good."

"Damn. So you like her enough to see her again?"

Shay's face turned serious, "I really do."

Dawson was about to answer when the tones went off, causing an emotion Shay couldn't place to pass through Dawson's brown eyes.

_"Ambulance 61 respond MVA vs. Pedestrian. 0836."_

Both women sighed as they moved to the cab of the ambulance. "Game time," Shay stated as she slid into the driver's seat.

Xxx-xxxxx-xxX

The ambulance rolled to a stop; the lights were still going but Shay had cut the siren. Dawson hopped out, pulling gloves on as she moved, her focus solely on the legs sticking out from under the SUV.

"What happened?"

A man who was visibly shaken stepped forward. "My light was green. I swear to God, it was green. She came out of nowhere."

"Okay," Shay soothed as she came up behind Dawson with the backboard and C-collar. She turned her attention to Dawson. "You think we have enough room to roll her?"

Dawson nodded, "Enough to at least get her on the board for extrication."

Shay left the backboard with Dawson and moved around to the other side of the car. She laid flat on her stomach and slid under the SUV. She did a quick check for a pulse. Finding one, she continued on and did a walk down of the patient's neck, feeling with her fingers for any out of place vertebrae. She secured the C-collar around the woman's neck and then looked up at Dawson who had crawled in from the other side. "I can do a supported roll from under her shoulders," she suggested.

Dawson nodded. "Yep. On your count," she answered as she gripped the patient's hips. Shay shifted her position and slid her arms under the patient's shoulders so her forearms could support the neck and her hands could support the head.

The two medics looked at each other. Shay nodded, "One, two, three."

They moved smoothly as a unit, gently guiding the patient onto her side, facing Shay. Dawson quickly walked her fingers down the patient's back, feeling for any abnormalities. "You got her?" Dawson asked without looking up.

"Yeah, we're good," Shay answered.

Dawson grunted in response and pulled out her trauma shears to cut the patient's shirt. She did a quick visual sweep of the woman's back for injuries and then slid the backboard under her.

"Roll back on three. One, two, three," Dawson instructed.

Again the two women moved together as they rolled the patient onto the backboard. They attached two straps to the board to hold the woman in place before they gently slid her out from under the SUV. Once they were clear of the vehicle, they better secured the patient to the board, put her on the gurney and into the back of the rig.

Dawson clambered up after the gurney and started to do a trauma assessment of the patient looking for obvious deformities and structural damage to places like her pelvis and rib cage. Shay closed the back doors and quickly pulled herself into the rig through the side door. "Good thing we're not claustrophobic," she joked as she started to put together a trauma IV kit.

Dawson snorted in response. "No kidding. Grab me an 18 gauge and a lock."

Shay grabbed the needle and handed it to her partner who was currently wiping the patient's forearm with an alcohol sponge. Shay then assembled the IV lock and watched as Dawson easily slid the needle into a vein. She handed the lock and saline push to her partner and then quickly set up the IV bag.

Dawson glanced up, the cap from the hypodermic needle still between her teeth. "Hand me the glucometer, then we can roll."

"Already next to you," Shay replied as she exited out the side door and up to the cab of the rig.

Shay grabbed the radio, relayed to dispatch that they were en route to the hospital and then flipped the siren to the wail setting before she drove off with the lights still flashing. She sighed, sometimes her job really sucked.

Xxx-xxxxx-xxX

"What are you feeling for lunch?"

Dawson stopped working on her report and turned to look at her partner skeptically. Shay was sitting on the chair, her feet propped up on the desk in front of her and her head leaned back so she couldn't see the eye roll Dawson sent her way. "Are you kidding me? You just ate breakfast," the Latina responded as she refocused on the computer screen in front of her.

Shay's feet dropped down to the floor and her body shot upright with the momentum. "Yeah, but Mills isn't here today and there isn't anything to eat in the kitchen," the blonde whined as she shoved her hands in the pockets of her fleece vest.

Dawson scoffed, "Is food all you think about?"

Shay thought for a second before she answered. "When I'm not thinking about girls? Yeah, I'd say food takes up most of my time."

Dawson's laugh echoed in the otherwise empty room. Shay watched her partner, a smile of her own tugging at the corners of her mouth. "What? A girl's got to have priorities."

"Priorities are important."

Both medics turned to regard Casey and Severide as they walked into the room. Shay's hand shot up and she high-fived Severide as he walked past. "You two in trouble again?" Shay asked.

Casey cocked his head in confusion before he shot a look at Severide. "No. Why?"

Shay shrugged her shoulders and smirked at the two firemen. "You two are together, in the same room, not killing each other. That means either you're in trouble with the Chief or it's the first sign of the apocalypse."

"Har har," Severide deadpanned as he continued out of the room. Casey stayed back and stood behind Dawson. He placed his hand on the back of her chair and leaned down to speak to her.

"I heard about the call. You good?" he asked.

Shay's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The call was a little out of the ordinary for sure, but it hadn't been one of their worst ones. Dawson, for her part, simply nodded. "Yeah Matt, we're good," she answered.

He nodded and then continued on his way. Shay watched him go as she picked up the conversation they'd been having. "Seriously though. Thoughts on lunch?"

Dawson shrugged, "Wherever you want Shay. I'm not really in the mood for-"

Shay pushed her rolling chair away from the desk so she could check the hallway before she turned to look at her partner. The sudden movement caused Dawson to stop typing and regard the blonde.

"What the hell?" Dawson questioned.

"Don't try to play coy with me Gabriella Dawson," Shay narrowed her eyes at her partner as she slid closer. "I saw that," she said as she pointed a finger at the Latina.

Dawson bit her lip and turned back to her report. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh," Shay answered sarcastically. "Look, just because they're on a break doesn't mean he's available."

Disbelief flashed through brown eyes as Dawson whipped her head around to look at the blonde. "Like you're one to talk," Dawson pointed her own accusing finger at her friend, "you can't tell me that the situation with you, Clarice and Daniel isn't fucked up."

Shay rolled her eyes. "She came to me because she needed a break from her marriage. I'm letting her stay. As a friend," she emphasized as Dawson opened her mouth to protest.

"Are you sure that's all it is?"

Shay nodded. "Scout's honor," she answered as she raised three fingers in salute. "Besides," she shrugged, "I sent her back to him."

"What?"

"She was using me as an excuse to get out of her marriage. Like you said, it wasn't good for me," Shay replied.

Dawson reached out and put her hand on Shay's. She tried to ignore the weird feeling that usually came with touching the blonde. "Good. You deserve better."

Shay exhaled sharply. "Don't start."

"No, I'm serious Les. You deserve someone who is going to love you the way you deserve to be loved."

"That's rich coming from the girl who's head over heels for a man who is practically married," Shay paused and then smiled. "God, what a pair we make."

Dawson continued typing up the report. "The more time I spend here, the more likely it seems I'm going to be a crazy cat lady."

Shay giggled. "If that happens, I'm totally moving in with you. Think about the chaos we could cause! No one would want to arrest two old ladies. We could get away with anything!"

Dawson simply shook her head as she printed out her report and signed it. She got up and headed out of the room to drop the report off with the Chief. Shay followed closely behind, pushing herself along in the chair.

"Seriously, think about it! We could ambush the neighborhood children from the trees in the front yard. We could sit and wait for them, then throw things at them as they walked by. Oh! We could chase them down the street, swinging brooms at them!"

Dawson didn't let her partner slow her down as she walked down the hallway. She tried her best to ignore the blonde as Shay continued on about the havoc they could cause. She poked her head into the Chief's office just long enough to drop off the report and then turned around. She grabbed onto Shay's wrist as she walked back down the hallway. Shay picked up her feet and let Dawson drag her back towards the computer room. "Come on Gabby, we could build a catapult!" Shay exclaimed.

Dawson rolled her eyes again as her partner then launched into a myriad of puns relating to cat ladies and a catapult, most of which Dawson simply tuned out. This type of childlike banter was a common thing when it came to her partner. It was one of the main reasons that Dawson loved being paired with Shay as much as she did. The blonde tended to make the day go by faster.

"No more caffeine for you," Dawson sighed as she deposited her partner at the computer desk where they had started.

"I only had one cup," Shay pouted as she tossed her now empty cup in the trash bin.

"Yeah, only one since you got here," Dawson countered as she settled herself back into the chair in front of the computer. Shay shrugged in agreement as the Latina brought Hulu up on the computer.

"I missed last night's Castle," Shay stated.

Dawson shrugged this time and then double clicked on the link and settled in to watch the TV show. She tossed a look at her partner briefly as Shay's hand settled on her own. "Seriously though Dawson, I'm here to talk if you need me."

The brunette smiled and squeezed the hand that was holding hers quickly before she laced their fingers together. The smile on Shay's face was momentary as the tones went off.

"_Active seizing, Four Seasons at 16th and Vine. Ambulance 61 respond; 1036."_

Both women sighed as they got up and headed out to the rig. It was obviously going to be one of those days.

Xxx-xxxxx-xxX

Shay pulled the ambulance to a stop outside the hotel, quickly unloaded the gear they might need and headed into the building. The hotel manager met them at the door and swiftly led them to the manager's office where a young man was sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. He was shivering even though a young woman was draping a blanket around his shoulders.

Dawson stopped pulling the gurney and nodded at Shay. They lowered the device to the same height of the chair and pushed it relatively close to the man. Dawson then kneeled down in front of him and pulled out her penlight. "Sir, my name is Gabriella. I'm with the Fire Department. Can you tell me what happened?"

He shook his head. "Not really. We were walking through the lobby and then," his face scrunched together in concentration. "Then, I was laying on the ground."

Shay looked at the woman standing behind him. "Are you his girlfriend?" At the girl's nod, she continued. "Can you tell me what happened?" she asked.

The woman turned to face the blonde completely. "We were heading out to get some lunch. I thought he was walking right behind me, and when I turned to look he was on the ground seizing."

"So you were walking through the lobby when it happened?"

The girlfriend nodded. "Yeah, we were walking towards the door."

"Okay. Did he hit his head when he fell, do you know?" Shay asked as she unfolded the blanket and stepped around the gurney to place it over the man's shoulders as well.

"I don't know."

Shay nodded once quickly to let the woman know that she had heard as she turned back to Dawson, who was shining the penlight in the man's eyes. "Can you tell me your name sir?"

"Tyler Jameson."

Dawson smiled at him as she slid the light back into her pocket. "Good. Do you know where you are?"

"The hotel. What happened?"

Dawson checked his pulse while Shay slid the blood pressure cuff on his arm. "You had a seizure, Tyler. Are you epileptic?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Do you see the doctor for anything on a regular basis? Asthma? High-blood pressure? Diabetes?" Dawson asked as Shay slid the stethoscope earpieces into her ears. She started to inflate the cuff as he answered.

"Asthma."

"Okay, do you use an albuterol pump for that?" At his nod, Dawson continued, "Do you use any other medication?"

He shook his head. "No. I really had a seizure?"

Dawson turned to the girlfriend. "Was he flailing, or were his eyes staring straight ahead, or...?"

"Flailing. It looked just like it does on TV," she answered before Dawson could finish her questions.

Shay took the cuff off and tossed it back in the bag. She adjusted the top part of the gurney so it was in the upright position so he could sit up.

"If we help you up, do you think you'd be able to stand?" Dawson asked.

Tyler nodded and gripped the arms of the chair. Both Dawson and Shay reached forward to steady him as he slowly pushed himself into a standing position. Dawson gently held onto his forearms and turned him so he was facing away from the gurney. Shay stuck her foot behind the wheel and leaned over to place her hand on his back as he eased himself down onto the padding. Dawson picked his legs up and swung them onto the gurney so he was fully on the device.

The two paramedics quickly buckled him in and then smoothly lifted the gurney to its transport position. The locks clicked into place before they grabbed their bags and made their way back out of the building and loaded him into the back of the rig.

The girlfriend informed them that she would meet them at the hospital. Shay nodded as she closed one of the doors of the rig to provide Tyler with some privacy from prying eyes. Dawson easily set up an IV and Shay placed an oxygen mask over Tyler's mouth. He looked Dawson in the eye, "I'm scared," he whispered. At Dawson's lack of response, he removed the mask. "Seriously, I'm really scared. I'm not going to die, am I? I don't want to die."

Shay placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. Dawson smiled slightly, "Don't worry, we'll get you there in one piece."

Shay shot a look at Dawson over the patient's head before she exited the back of the rig. Dawson had to bite her tongue to refrain from saying everything she wished she could to this guy. The second door was closed as Shay walked around the back before she got in the cab and started on the way.

Dawson leaned forward and poked her head up into the driving compartment. "You can go yellow."

Shay nodded in response as she cut the siren and expertly maneuvered the truck through traffic.

Xxx-xxxxx-xxX

"So you going to tell me more about this mystery girl from last night?" Dawson asked as she leaned against the wall next to her partner.

Shay smiled, yet kept her eyes on the nurse that was supposed to be printing off their patient's admitting and insurance information. "She's a cop. Antonio introduced us actually," she answered with obvious happiness in her voice.

"Really? My brother introduced you to a decent woman?"

"I never said she was decent."

Dawson snorted as Shay winked. The brunette turned so she could look at her friend. "How does that work with Clarice staying at your place?"

"We went to hers instead," Shay answered easily. "It won't be a problem anymore, though. Clarice just texted me that she got all of her stuff out of the apartment."

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but that's for the best." Dawson shrugged, "Besides, you could really end up liking this one. Is it anyone I know?"

Shay thanked the nurse who handed over the paperwork they were waiting for and then started walking out. "Sarah Murphy," she tossed over her shoulder.

Dawson started following her partner out. "Sarah Murphy. Sarah Murphy. Doesn't sound familiar." She opened the passenger door and stopped abruptly. "Sarah Murphy, the UC from vice?"

Shay slid into the driver seat and smirked at her partner. "That's the one," she said.

"Damn," Dawson replied as she hopped into the passenger seat. "Definitely one of the hotter ones out there, Les. Try not to let this one go."

"I don't plan on it," Shay laughed as she put the Ambulance into drive before reporting to dispatch that they were available for service. The box-rig pulled into traffic carefully and headed back towards the station house to complete the reports necessary for this call.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **There was a question about my experience as an EMT. I have had my EMT-B license since 2008 and served as an EMT for a whitewater rafting company for about 3 years and as volunteer EMT-B in PA for about 2 years. I now work in Law Enforcement and plan on taking paramedic classes in the near future. My ultimate goal is to be a tactical medic for my department's Emergency Response Team (basically our S.W.A.T team). As always, major thanks to my beta AliceBB. I'll let you know if a police show ever gets made for my department ;)

Also, I'm starting a new rotational shift tomorrow, so my posting may not always be one chapter a week, but I will try my best.

* * *

Dawson flipped through the magazine lazily. She grunted as Shay flopped rather ungracefully next to her. The blonde handed over one of the sodas she was carrying to her partner and then reached for the remote.

"Hey! I was watching that!" Mouch protested.

Shay continued to flip through the channels. "Shut up Mouch, that game was practically over anyway," she said.

"There's still two minutes left!"

"Yeah, in a game where the Bears are up three touchdowns with possession. Let it go."

Mouch grumbled as he crossed his arms and pouted from his spot on the couch. Dawson snickered at how ridiculous he was being. This bickering between the two of them was normal, especially when it came to what to watch on TV.

"Yes!" Shay cheered. She tossed the remote next to her and settled further into the couch. Dawson looked up to see what show her partner had found.

"Really?" she chuckled.

Shay shrugged her shoulders. "What? It's _The First 48_. This show is awesome."

"You know it's not realistic, right?" Dawson asked.

Shay rolled her eyes. "Whatever, it's still entertaining."

Mouch mumbled about how the show was pointless as he left the room. Dawson watched him go before she turned her attention back to the magazine in front of her. "Do you think we'll ever get the hydraulic stretcher?" she asked.

Shay turned to look at her. "You mean the battery operated one from _Stryker_?"

Dawson nodded and turned the magazine to show her the picture.

"Not likely," Shay sighed.

"It would be nice though," Dawson commented wistfully.

"What would?"

Both women turned so they could look over the back of the couch at Casey as he came around the counter in the kitchen with an apple in his hand. he took at seat in the chair near Dawson, took a bite of the fruit and cocked an eyebrow in question.

"The _Stryker Power Pro-XT_," Dawson answered as she tossed him the magazine.

He studied the advertisement for a minute. "What's so special about it?" he asked, the confusion obvious on his face.

"It's battery operated," Dawson answered. "It takes manual lifting out of the equation and provides the operator with a lot more control when it comes to bariatric patients."

"I love it when you talk dirty," Shay moaned. She winked when Dawson turned to look at her. Dawson laughed and playfully shoved her partner.

Casey's stare kept the confused expression. Shay gawked at him while Dawson tried to explain. "It uses a hydraulic lift system to raise and lower the stretcher. Basically it-

"Basically it gives us weak and feeble women the ability to lift three hundred pound patients without the help of you strapping young men," Shay interrupted with a southern lilt to her voice.

Dawson bit back a laugh as Casey's face registered slight shock. He playfully threw the magazine back at Shay. "Oh, you've got jokes. Just wait, someday you'll be begging for our help, hydraulic stretcher or not," Casey taunted.

Shay snorted. "Oh honey, there's nothing I would ever ask you for, let alone beg for."

Casey just shook his head. He loved how easily the two paramedics fit into the familial unit at the station. He had been concerned at first having two women on the team, especially with the type of humor that usually floated around protective services as a whole. However, one quickly returned barb from Leslie Shay on her first day that had rendered Severide speechless and that fear had flown right out the window.

"I heard you guys had a house fire earlier with Station 3. They treat you boys okay?" Dawson asked.

Silence followed briefly before Casey broke off the playful glaring match between himself and Shay. "Yeah," he shrugged. "You know Joe and Matt. Professional as always," he elaborated.

He leaned forward and put his hand on Dawson's knee. "They weren't you two though," he nearly whispered.

Shay gagged and picked up the magazine Casey had tossed at her. She pretended to read the articles as her eyes focused on her partner and the Lieutenant instead. Dawson blushed. "Yeah, they're good guys," she muttered.

Casey sighed and disappointment flashed through his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off as Otis poked his head into the room. "Casey, you got a second?"

Casey turned to look at his crew member, then at Dawson, and back to Otis. "Yeah," he sighed as he stood. "What's up?" he asked as he followed the other man out of the room.

Dawson visibly deflated as she exhaled loudly. Shay couldn't stop the smirk that tugged at her lips. "You have it bad."

Dawson rolled her eyes. "Shut up," she bit back.

Shay studied her partner for a second before she tossed the copy of _EMS World_ back onto the table. "Look, I know I said he was unavailable, but he is sending out the vibe in a bad way."

"You think?" Dawson asked, the vulnerability more than obvious in her voice.

Shay nodded. "Maybe, just this one time, you should ignore my advice and see where this leads."

"Maybe," Dawson shrugged noncommittally.

"Gabby," Shay started. The sympathy and understanding laced through her voice heavily. "I don't know much, but I know longing and heartbreak. I'm not saying jump into it head first, but at least think about it. I don't want you to look back at this with regret."

Shay sighed, "Don't be left wondering what if."

"What would I do without you?" Dawson asked. She turned and smiled sadly at her partner.

Shay smirked cockily. "You'd be alone and miserable for the rest of your life. Admit it Dawson, I'm the best thing that ever happened to you."

"You wish," Dawson chuckled.

The tones interrupted their playful banter. "Oh come on!" Shay exclaimed.

_Abdominal pain. 1357 South Mockingbird Lane. Ambulance 61 respond. 1241._

Brown eyes met hazel. "It's your turn!" they exclaimed simultaneously.

Shay's eyes narrowed as she looked at her partner. "I had her last time."

Dawson shook her head. "No way," she protested. "I definitely had her last."

Shay followed her partner out to the bay. "No. She didn't puke when you had her. Last time we picked her up, she was definitely vomiting exorcist style. Trust me, I remember because it was all over my shirt."

Dawson laughed as she slid into the passenger seat of the ambulance.

"It's not funny," Shay grumbled as she pulled the rig out of the station house.

Xxx-xxxxx-xxX

The two paramedics stood on the dilapidated porch and stared at the run down house in front of them. What was once blue paint had worn into more of gray color and was peeling badly off of the house. Dawson reached forward to knock on the door as Shay looked back at the couple of stairs they had to climb to reach the porch.

"I swear, one day we are going to fall through those things."

Dawson shot a look at the blonde who shrugged in response.

A muffled "Come in," sounded through the door.

Shay reached forward and opened the door slightly. Both women recoiled at the smell of cat urine and decay that immediately assaulted their noses. "You know the rule Tanya!" Shay yelled into the house before she turned and coughed into her hand.

"I want to go to the hospital!" a female voice shouted back.

"We know that and we'll take you there. You need to come out of your house first," Dawson reasoned.

"Why don't you come in to get me?"

Shay turned to look at her partner, a look of mild disgust crossed her features. "Did that sound slightly suggestive to you?"

Dawson shook her head and couldn't hide her smirk before she turned her attention back to the door. "You know we can't come in Tanya. If you need help, you need to let us know so we can call the fire boys."

"I'm coming. I'm coming," the woman grumbled as she shambled towards the front of the house. Both medics took a step back to allow the patient room to exit her house and turn so she was facing the steps.

Dawson cleared her throat, "You okay to walk down the stairs?"

Tanya nodded as Dawson moved out in front of her in case the she slipped as they descended. Shay held her gloved hand against the patient's back to steady the woman. Once they were on the ground, Tanya quickly sat on the gurney and didn't say much as they loaded her into the back of the rig.

Shay clicked the device into place and turned to say something to Dawson only to find that her partner was already opening the driver side door, a wicked smile plastered on her face. Shay's eyes narrowed as she pointed an accusing finger at the Latina. "You owe me," she hissed.

Dawson simply winked at Shay before she slid into the cab of the ambulance. Shay groaned and pulled herself into the back. She closed the doors, told Dawson they could roll whenever she was ready, and then opened the cabinet to grab the blood pressure cuff and pulse oximeter. "What's going on today Tanya?" she asked as she slipped the pulse ox on one of her fingers.

"My stomach hurts," she whined.

Shay nodded and made a note on the paperwork. "When did that start?"

"Three days ago."

"Okay, can you describe the pain to me?" Shay asked in her most professional voice. This was something Tanya always did. She would call 9-1-1 when she ran out of her prescription for oxycodone and then make up some story about how her stomach had been hurting for a few days. It was a rare occasion when they actually took her in for something serious, let alone real.

It was calls like this one that usually bothered Shay. On one hand, Tanya was tying up emergency resources with a bullshit call, and that pissed her off. On the other, here was a woman that was so addicted to opiates that she felt like she had to call for an ambulance just to get her fix. Add that onto the fact that her house was on their "no go list", meaning that no one could enter without an external source of oxygen because it was that close to being condemned, and it was a rather heartbreaking call.

"You still going to Dr. Robison for your murmur?"

Tanya nodded before she launched into an enthusiastic story about something her friend told her the other day. Shay rolled her eyes as she partially listened to what Tanya was saying. She nodded noncommittally at the appropriate parts of the story. At the right time, she moved to the jump seat to call ahead to the hospital. "Dispatch, 61."

"_Go ahead 61_."

"Requesting class 3 patch to Mercy General," Shay said.

"_Patch is open, switch to A3 and attempt to call_."

Shay switched the radio to the proper channel. "Mercy Gen, Ambulance 61."

"_61_."

"In bound to your facility with a forty-nine year old female complaining of stomach pain and nausea. Negative tenderness, negative distention. Vitals all stable. ETA five minutes."

"_Copy that 61, see you when you get here_."

Shay keyed the mic one last time to let them know that she had received their last transmission before she switched the radio back to the main operating channel.

Five minutes later, Shay opened the back doors of the ambulance and hopped out. She took a deep breath of fresh air. It never mattered how good the vent system was in the ambulance, when they had certain people in the back, the smell permeated everything. Dawson joined her as they lifted the gurney out of the back. They made sure the device was in the transportation position before they pushed their patient into the emergency department.

They came to a stop at the nurse's desk. Shay smiled at the admitting nurse. "Hey Jess."

The young man's face lit up. "Shay and Dawson! My two favorite medics. Got anything good for me?" he asked.

"Just a frequent flyer."

Jess' eyes shot to the gurney. "Tanya, looking good as always sweetie."

Tanya smiled brightly back at him. "You've always been my favorite," she said as she winked at him.

Jess typed on the keyboard for a second. "Bed 3 is available."

Shay tossed him a salute as they moved down the hall. They stopped the gurney next to the hospital bed. "Scoot on over Tanya and then sign this for me," Dawson said.

Once they got the paperwork back, Shay and Dawson stepped out of the curtained off area. Dawson bumped Shay's shoulder with her own. "I'm going to go spray down the rig."

Shay nodded as Dawson left. A doctor approached her, "What do we have?"

Shay shrugged. "Just Tanya being Tanya," she answered.

"Anything unusual?"

"Not really. She says her stomach started hurting three days ago. There's no change to her meds and her vitals were all stable in field."

"Thanks."

Shay nodded as he walked behind the curtain. She waited a few more minutes until Jess came by with the insurance information. He handed the paperwork over. "Here you go, beautiful."

Shay smiled at him. "Aww Jess, you're adorable. I'll catch you later," she said as she walked past him.

The automatic doors closed behind the blonde as she walked towards the ambulance. She couldn't help the laugh that burst out as she poked her head around the back door; Dawson had a face shield on and was spraying the back of the rig with Lysol.

"I can still smell her," Dawson whined.

"I know. I think it's stuck in my clothes."

Dawson shook the can, looked at it and then to Shay. "Stand still, close your eyes and mouth."

Shay did as she was told as Dawson sprayed her down. Shay spun in a slow circle to make sure every part of her was covered with the anti-bacterial spray.

"Feel better?" Dawson asked.

"No. I still feel gross," Shay nearly whimpered as she shook her head.

_Ambulance 61, what's your status?_

Dawson keyed her radio. "We're available, turn around at Mercy General."

_Copy. Respond with Engine 81, Rescue 3 and Ladder 51 for a 10-99 at 4617 Union Plaza. CPD in route as well._

"10-8."

Shay shook herself one more time as Dawson hopped down from the rig. Shay slid into the cab. "You owe me dinner and I'm feeling like sushi," Shay stated as she started the engine.

"Fine," Dawson sighed as they sped off to the next call.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I know this is a few weeks late. I am really sorry for the hold up. They changed my shift to midnights and it took me a while to adjust to the new times. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Major thanks to AliceBB for looking over this chapter a few times. For some reason I had some issues getting the point across. Could be because I'm more of an emotions girl instead of action and description. Plainly put, my awesome beta is the reason this chapter works...at all.**

* * *

Shay pulled the ambulance to a stop at the staging area. The scene in front of them was organized chaos at best. Both women grabbed their reflective vests and hopped out of the cab. They then moved to the side of the rig and pulled out their turnout gear. Chief Boden approached while they were suiting up.

"You two are on the front doors. Direct people being evacuated to the safety zones at 11th and Broad St and at 12th and Vine."

"Copy that Chief," Shay responded as she and Dawson grabbed an equipment bag and jogged off to the front of the building.

"Dawson! Radios off!" The Chief yelled to them as they moved through the crowd. They quickly switched their radios off and reported to the CPD officer who was directing people at the door. He told them to stay at the doors and continue to direct the people coming out. He then went into the building to help with the evacuation.

Shay stood next to Dawson and started pointing people in the direction of one of the safety zones. "Do you think this one's real?"

Dawson shrugged. "I don't know. They probably have good reason to think this isn't just a scare though."

Shay grabbed the door and propped it open. "Why is that?"

"They wouldn't be evacuating if they didn't think there was a chance this threat could be real. We're also operating radio silent, so there's that."

"Why is that important?" Shay asked.

Dawson pointed another person towards 11th and Broad. "The radio transmission could set off a bomb on a remote trigger."

Shay visibly paled as she reached down to double check her radio. Both women reached out to stop Otis as he ran by with a rope. "You find anything?" Dawson asked.

Otis shook his head. "Not yet. Some of the floors smell like fertilizer though. EOD is still en route, ETA 15."

"How many more do you have to evacuate?" Shay asked.

"Casey and Severide took the boys to the top. They only covered three floors so far." He pointed up at the windows with a big white "X" marking the floor as cleared. "CPD is mainly working the perimeter. They did send a few in who are working from the 8th floor down."

Dawson let him go as she looked up at the twenty story building. Her eyes grew wide as the knowledge that they still had a long way to go settled in. The noise surrounding them seemed to get louder as her vision tunneled on the building.

Dread and fear settled roughly in her stomach. There was a chance that there was an actual bomb in that building waiting to go off. Her family was in there working to get everyone out, and they wouldn't leave until they did. There was a chance that they wouldn't get everyone out in time.

She did some quick mental math. They needed more hands in there helping people out. Panic set in and she simply reacted.

"Dawson? Hey! Dawson, stop!"

Shay's voice was like white noise in the background as she ran into the building towards the stairs. She whipped around as a hand settled on her arm. "What?!" she snapped.

Shay dropped her partner's arm like it had burned her. "What are we doing?"

Dawson sighed as some tension bled from her shoulders. "We need to evacuate the building. If we work from the bottom up, we can meet the boys in the middle."

Shay glanced back the way they had come. "This isn't our job Gabby," she reasoned.

Dawson nodded and then turned further into the building. "We can do this Shay. I have a bad feeling about this one. Please help me do this."

Shay threw her hands in the air and followed after her partner. Dawson smiled at her. "Thanks, Shay."

"Shut up," the blonde grumbled.

They continued to the bottom of the steps and then started searching the rooms systematically for people. They moved quickly but efficiently and cleared the basement in a few minutes. They made their way to the first floor and continued the search.

Halfway down the hallway they opened an office door. "Fire Department. Is there anyone in here?"

They split up to search the office area. "Got one," Shay called out.

Dawson turned and approached the woman who was still talking on the phone. "Ma'am, we're with the fire department. You need to evacuate."

The woman rolled her eyes and waved dismissively at the medics. Shay took a step closer to the woman. "Ma'am, there's a gas leak. You need to evacuate the building."

The woman covered the mouth piece of the phone. "I will in a minute."

Dawson narrowed her eyes at the audacity of the woman. She reached forward and pushed on the receiver. "Oops, you must have dropped the call. You'll have to try again later," she muttered dryly.

The woman made a noise of protest as she jumped to her feet. Shay grabbed her arm and forced her towards the door. She continued to protest but grabbed her purse all the same and then stomped out of the office.

They followed her out the door and waited until she headed down the stairs before they continued their search. Upon finding nothing else, they marked the hallway window with a grease pencil to let the officers outside know that the floor had been searched and evacuated.

The second floor was cleared without much trouble and they continued on to the third floor. Dawson could feel the tension coming off of her partner in waves. She stopped once they were in the third floor hall. "What is it?" she asked.

Shay shook her head, "It's nothing," she answered coolly,

Dawson sighed, "Leslie, I can tell you have something to say, so say it."

Shay stopped outside an office door and paused before she turned to look at the Latina. "I just want to know if all of this is worth it."

Dawson quirked an eyebrow at her in confusion. "What?"

"This," Shay responded with a wave of her hand at the area around them. "All of this Lone Ranger bullshit where you go barreling headfirst into danger without stopping to think about what it might mean for you or anyone else."

"What are you talking about?" Dawson asked.

Shay sighed in irritation. "The pericardiocentesis, the surgical tracheotomy, kicking the kid out of the ambo, going after the mother of that abused child; I'm starting to see a pattern here. Do you hate your job that much? Or do you just have a death wish?"

Disbelief settled on Dawson's features. "Are you kidding me, Shay!? You of all people should know me well enough to know that's not even close to the truth!"

Shay shook her head. "Whatever. Let's just finish this so we can get out of here," she grumbled as she turned back to the evacuation.

Dawson reached out and grabbed the blonde's arm. "No, let's talk about this now."

"You really think this is the time?"

"You brought it up!" Dawson argued.

Shay opened her mouth to respond but shut it quickly as Chief Boden's voice blared through a bullhorn from outside. "All personnel pull out now! Device located! Pull out!"

Fear shot through both women's eyes as they looked at each other. "Shit!" Shay yelled as they both turned and started moving quickly towards the stairwell. They only had two floors to clear and they both prayed that the device wasn't about to blow.

Harsh, ragged breathing echoed loudly in Shay's ears as she willed herself to stay calm and keep moving. They would make it out of this. That was their thing; they would get into a mess and come out the other side in one piece. It was what they did.

_Maybe, but did your time finally run out?_

Shay pushed those thoughts away as she cleared the first flight and pivoted to start down the next set. They were so close she could hear Dawson right behind her. They were going to make it and EOD was going to clear the device. Then they could all go back to the firehouse and joke about this like they did everything else.

Then she felt it.

The concussion wave hit and pulsed through her violently. It was like she was standing too close to an amplifier at a concert as the bass boomed through the air. She stumbled slightly from the force of it and threw a look over her shoulder at Gabriella.

Apology flashed through brown eyes as the air seemed to rush past them. Time stood still for a second before the sound of the explosion rang through the air around them.

Both women were pitched forward as the devastating force from the bomb rocked the stairwell. Shay didn't know how it happened exactly, but one second she was looking at her partner and the next she was falling.

There was a fleeting moment where she wondered how that was possible before she focused on the look of fear and panic that had taken over Dawson's face. Shay reached out to try and comfort her partner, to wipe that look off of her face. She wanted to pull Dawson close and protect her. She wanted to keep her partner safe. She wanted so much in that moment.

Then everything went black.

Xxx-xxxxx-xxX

Dawson groaned as she blinked her eyes. She coughed a few times and tried to ignore the pain that was tearing through her body. Everything hurt. She yelped as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her eyes slammed closed and she clenched her jaw to fight off the pain and nausea that was assaulting her body.

Dawson slowly opened her eyes and blinked again. "Shay?" she croaked as she turned over so she was on her knees. She settled back against her heels and scanned the area that used to be the stairwell. Dust was settling among the destruction that was around her.

Her eyes looked over the area quickly. Shay had to be there somewhere. They weren't that far away from each other when the stairs they were standing on broke into pieces from the explosion. It only made sense for the blonde to be nearby.

Dawson coughed and wiped her eyes with her right hand. From the looks of it, the structure of the stairwell kept them safe from being absolutely flattened. Debris was piled around her but most of it had been stopped by the stairs.

"Shay! Answer me!" Dawson called out as she willed herself to move. There were large pieces of concrete that were obstructing her view of the area. "I swear to God, Leslie," she mumbled as she maneuvered herself over a part of the stairs.

She stopped short, her breath catching in her throat. "Leslie!" she screamed out as her eyes fell on the prone form of her partner. The blonde was lying under a piece of concrete and covered in blood with a piece of rebar sticking out of the upper right part of her chest near her shoulder.

Dawson scrambled towards her friend. "Oh my God, Shay! Please be alive," she begged as reached out with a shaky hand to check the blonde's pulse. A wave of relief crashed through the Latina as a steady heartbeat thumped against her fingers.

"Shay, wake up sweetheart," Dawson pleaded as her hand cupped the side of the blonde's face. "Shay," she whimpered as her thumb trailed over her partner's cheek, "please."

Dawson fought against the fear that had settled in her chest. She may have years of experience in blood, guts and gore, but nothing could prepare her for this. The fear that she felt was threatening to overwhelm her, to take over everything she should be doing to help Shay.

Dawson let that fear take hold for a second. It was something that Shay had taught her; that fear in itself was a healthy reaction to what they saw on a regular basis. The difference that separated them from everyone else was that they didn't let the fear control them. So Dawson let the fear take hold for a few seconds and then took a deep breath. This was something she could handle, even if it was Shay laying there in front of her.

Her fingers were shaking uncontrollably as she reached down to her radio. "Please work," she murmured as she turned the dial on. She breathed a quick sigh of relief as the device crackled to life.

"_Anyone have eyes on 61?_" Boden asked.

Casey's voice: "_They were inside!?_"

"We're here," Dawson croaked into the mic on her shoulder.

"_Dawson! Where are you!? Are you two okay?_"

Dawson coughed to clear her throat. "We were in the west stairwell between the second and third floor. Part of the stairs collapsed and I don't see a way out. I have a dislocated shoulder, a concussion and possible broken ribs," she paused to catch her breath.

"_What about Shay?_"

"She's unconscious but breathing with a strong, steady pulse. She has a penetrating wound to her right upper chest and she's pinned under some concrete." Dawson had to fight against the tears that wanted to fall at just how bad off her partner was.

"_Hang tight Gabby, we're heading to you right now_," Severide assured.

"Okay," she answered. "I'm going to try and get the concrete off and stabilize the rebar in her chest."

She released the mic and scooted closer to the blonde. The first think she needed to do was stabilize the piece of metal in Shay's chest. That needed to stay as still as possible until they were ready to move her out of this hell hole.

Dawson looked around for the green equipment bag she knew she had been carrying through the building. It wasn't a full trauma kit, however she could use whatever was inside to help her with caring for Shay's injuries. She spotted a piece of it sticking out from underneath some nearby material and went to get it.

Once it was in hand, she settled back next to her friend. She rooted through the side pockets and pulled out a flashlight, turned it on and balanced it on a nearby piece of stair so she could get a better look at what she was dealing with. She opened the bag and pulled out a triangle bandage, ripped it open with her teeth, and then tied it into a makeshift sling.

Dawson hissed through her teeth as she slid her left arm into the sling. She needed her shoulder to stay still if she was going to help Shay at all. Once her arm was settled, she shut her eyes for a second and tried to breathe through the pain and nausea that had returned full force. She took several deep breaths and then opened her eyes again.

_Next, find trauma pads and roll them up_, she coached herself through the process. That was the only way she could focus on what needed to get done and not on the situation as a whole. She ripped open two of the trauma pads and rolled them into tight cylinders. She then pulled out some tape and wrapped a few pieces around the rolls so they would keep their shape once they were used to stabilize the rebar.

She worked as quickly as she could. She made sure that the rolled pads would be enough to hold the metal in place. Once satisfied with that, she used some tape and gauze to hold the pads in place. After everything was done, she looked it over. It wasn't the best job ever, but considering the circumstances it would work.

She turned her attention to the concrete that was pinning Shay's legs down. Keeping her left arm close to her body she moved so she was kneeling in front of the piece of concrete. From the looks of it, it was going to be heavy and difficult to move. She sighed and looked around the piece of debris. There was no way of knowing how long it was going to take for the boys to get them out of here, so crush syndrome was a definite concern. The sooner she could get the concrete off of Shay's legs, the better the blonde's chances were.

Dawson shifted so she could reach Shay's boots and then pulled out her trauma shears. She made quick work of cutting the laces off before she slid the boots off. She checked for a pedal pulse and breathed a sigh of relief when she found strong pulses in both feet. That was a good sign that neither crush syndrome nor compartment syndrome had started manifesting yet.

The Latina moved so she was next to the concrete again and then placed her right hand on it. She grunted as she pushed on the rough object. Nothing happened.

She leaned back on her heels, took a deep breath and put more of her weight behind pushing on the object. Again nothing happened.

She sighed and shifted so she could get a better footing. She moved her left foot back a little further and planted it before she placed her right shoulder against the offending object. She counted to three silently in her head before throwing all of her weight at the concrete. She pushed hard against it, refusing to give up until the stupid thing moved.

She felt it shift a little so she pushed harder against it. _Leslie is counting on you right now, don't mess this up_; she scolded herself as she willed herself to push harder. It shifted a little more and Dawson leaned further into it.

It shifted a third time.

Then hazel eyes snapped open and a scream ripped through the silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**_AN:_ **Hey lovely readers, I can't apologize enough for the delay in updating. I've been really busy with court dates and testifying. That's the part of the job where cops need to explain why they had every reason to lock up the criminal they just spent the last four blocks chasing. It's good money, but really time consuming when you have multiple trials going at the same time.

Anyway, I want to give a huge thanks to AliceBB for being my awesome beta. That being said, all mistakes are ultimately mine. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

As always, they don't belong to me. Kinda wish they did though.

* * *

_She felt it shift a little so she pushed harder against it. Leslie is counting on you right now, don't mess this up; she scolded herself as she willed herself to push harder. It shifted a little more and Dawson leaned further into it._

_It shifted a third time._

_Then hazel eyes snapped open and a scream ripped through the silence._

Dawson jumped at the sudden noise, and her brown eyes snapped immediately to Shay's face.

"Shay!"

Before it even registered that she had moved, she was kneeling near Shay's head. The blonde continued to scream even as Dawson's right hand reached out and cupped her face.

"Shay," she breathed in relief.

No response came from the other medic other than the shrill noise of pain personified. Then the blonde tried to sit up.

Dawson's hand immediately shifted to her partner's left shoulder.

"Stop! Don't move!"

She pushed a little harder to keep Shay from exacerbating her injuries. "Shay! Stop moving!"

The blonde ignored her partner and continued to fight against the rebar in her chest, which only made the wound open even further. Dawson shifted her hand to Shay's cheek. "Leslie," she soothed, "Sweetie, stop moving." Her thumb began to trace gentle circles on the blonde's skin. "It's okay. You're okay, just stop fighting it. I'm right here."

The screaming subsided and yet the fighting continued. Dawson moved Shay's head slightly so they were facing each other. "Leslie, look at me. Right at me. I've got you. It's going to be okay."

Hazel eyes shifted to brown and Dawson breathed a sigh of relief as recognition settled over her friend's features.

"Gabby?" Shay questioned as she stilled for the time being.

"Yeah Les, I'm right here."

Shay swallowed thickly as she fought against the pain that flashed through her eyes. "What happened?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Shay closed her eyes for a second. "The bomb went off," she answered.

"Okay, good. That's good."

"Gabby, it hurts," Shay whimpered.

"Where?" Dawson asked as her thumb continued to trace meaningless patterns on Shay's cheek in what she hoped was a comforting motion.

Shay's face contorted in agony. "Everywhere."

"Okay," Dawson smiled slightly at her friend. "What hurts the most?"

"My right shoulder. My head. And my knees," she listed off.

"Alright. Good, that's good, Shay."

"My feet," Shay stated as panic laced her voice.

Dawson shot a quick look down to the concrete. "What about your feet?" she asked.

Shay swallowed again. "I can't feel them. I can't feel them! Why can't I feel them!?"

"Hey, easy." Dawson pulled Shay's face back to her own. On any other scene, Dawson would have lied to the patient about what exactly was going on, yet this was Shay. She just couldn't bring herself to lie to her. "There's a piece of concrete pinning them down. You probably can't feel them because of that. There's nothing to worry about, okay?"

"Crush syndrome?"

Dawson shook her head. "Not from what I've been able to tell. Pedal pulses are strong in both feet, so we have some time. I'm not going to let anything else happen to you, okay?"

Shay closed her eyes and leaned slightly into Dawson's touch. "How are you?"

Dawson couldn't fight the tears that started to sting her eyes. Her partner was pinned underneath concrete with rebar sticking out of her chest and she still thought to ask about her. "I'm okay. Dislocated shoulder and broken ribs. Nothing a small vacation can't fix."

_"Dawson. Shay. Can you guys here me?"_

Both women shifted their eyes to the radio that was strapped across Dawson's chest. The Latina took a second to smile reassuringly at her partner. "See? The guys are looking for us. We'll be out of here soon, and then drinks are on me."

She turned her attention to the communication device. "Yeah Matt, we're here."

_"We're at the west stairwell, or what's left of it. It looks like we're going to have to lower ourselves down to you. Any change in Shay?"_

"I'm here," the blonde answered for herself.

_"Good to hear your voice, baby girl."_ The smile could be heard in Severide's voice even if they couldn't see it.

"How long do you think it's going to take?" Dawson asked.

_"Depends on how much damage there is above you. I'll let you know once I get a better look. Hang tight you two, we'll have you out of there soon."_

Chief Boden's voice crackled through next._ "Dawson, switch over to the TAC2 channel."_

Dawson keyed the mic, "Copy that," she answered before she switched her radio over to the secondary channel so they could talk without interrupting other transmissions.

Dawson swallowed thickly as she looked back down at hazel eyes that were watching her closely. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying at the pain that was clouding the usually emotive eyes. Shay was in pain and it was all her fault.

Dawson mentally kicked herself for being so stupid; it was true that they had been briefly trained on entering and clearing a building just in case it was needed. Yet their training stopped at the basics, so what made her think that it was okay for her to run headlong into action? She really needed to learn to stop and evaluate a situation before she acted in such an irrational manner.

The Latina let her mind wander to all of the times she had acted outside of protocol and in an unprofessional manner. Each time Shay was right there beside her, trying her best to protect her partner. Every other time they had been able to get out of the situation unharmed and that had made her cocky. Cockiness and ego were not good on this job, Dawson knew that and she still ignored all of the warning signs that were yelling at her to stop acting out.

_God, I'm such an idiot. She berated herself. I could have just ended my partner's career, I nearly killed her. What was I thinking!? She is never going to forgive me._

"Gabby."

Shay's voice broke through Dawson's thoughts. "Where did you go?" she asked once Dawson was looking at her again.

Dawson cleared her throat and exhaled to try and bring her emotions into check. "Leslie, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have run into the building. I should have waited on the outside like we were ordered to. I'm the reason we're down here, and I'm the reason you're hurt. I don't know how you're ever going to be able to look at me the same way, let alone trust me ever again. And I just hope-"

"Stop," Shay commanded as forcefully as she could. "Just stop."

"But Les-"

"No. You don't get to do that now."

"What?" Dawson cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"You don't get to run into a building..." she paused to take a shaky breath.

"That's about to explode..." Another breath.

"Get us stuck in a hole..."A third shaky exhalation. "And then apologize. Doesn't work like that."

"Yeah, except that it is my fault," Dawson reasoned.

"Yes, it is. But I decided to follow you." Shay paused as pain rippled through her. She gritted her teeth until it passed; once it did she took several shallow breaths to clear her mind. "I decided to follow you, that's on me," she finished her thought.

"Leslie, how can you ever forgive me?" Dawson whispered.

"I already did. Move on."

The brunette brushed some loose strands of hair out of Shay's face. "You are amazing Leslie Elizabeth Shay."

"I know," Shay cracked a smile before her face turned serious. "I'd do it again, you know?"

So many emotions flashed through hazel eyes at that moment that Dawson couldn't focus on any one long enough to pinpoint what they were. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, that would make this situation better, that would make this whole thing make sense.

"Shay, I-"

_"Dawson, you on the air?"_

Dawson cursed under her breath and tried to ignore the hurt look, that had nothing to do with physical pain, flood Shay's features.

"Go ahead Matt."

_"It looks like there's a few floors piled on top of where you guys are. It's going to take us a few hours before we can get to you."_

Dawson slammed her eyes shut to hide how much that bad news was effecting her. A few hours was not good. Shay would have a hard time holding on for that long. She slowly cracked an eye open and looked down at her partner who was staring right back. Dawson could see the understanding settle on Shay's face.

The blonde bit her lip and then let her eyes slide shut at a tear slowly leaked out of her left eye and rolled down her cheek. Dawson's heart broke at the sight. Shay understood what that time frame would mean, there was no way that she couldn't.

"It's going to be okay, Shay. I promise."

Shay nodded her head slightly in acceptance of Dawson's false optimism.

_"Dawson? You copy that?"_

Dawson sighed as she keyed the mic, "Yeah, I copy. Just work as fast as you can. I don't know about Shay, but I could use a cold beer and a hot shower."

Shay let a sad smile tug at the corner of her mouth at how pathetic Dawson's attempt at humor was. She was a little grateful that her partner was at least trying to lighten the mood. Even more so that Dawson would most likely get out of here in one piece. She only wished she could have been so lucky.

"I don't know what to do here Shay," Dawson called the blonde back to reality.

"Yes you do."

"Then what is it, because I really don't know."

Shay opened her eyes and looked at the chocolate brown ones that were swimming with unshed tears right above her. "Prioritize," Shay answered. "The concrete needs to move."

Dawson shook her head. "No, that can wait," she protested.

"Crush syndrome could set in."

"We still have time," Dawson argued.

Shay shook her head. "Not really. You just don't want..." she paused to grunt at the pain that was becoming harder to ignore, "hurt me." She took as deep a breath as she could manage. "It has to move or I'm not getting out of here."

Dawson couldn't stop the strangled sob that ripped from her throat. She took a steadying breath. "How can you be so calm about all of this?" she asked incredulously.

"Rational, not calm," Shay answered.

Dawson made eye contact with her partner, her eyes begging the blonde for another option. "There has to be another way," she pleaded.

Shay squirmed a little to adjust her position. "Stop being such a pussy and do it."

"Shay..."

"Just do it Dawson."

"Fine," Dawson huffed as she shifted so she was once again kneeling in front of the piece of concrete. "This is going to hurt like a bitch."

"I know," Shay sighed as best as she could.

Dawson placed her right hand on the concrete and braced her feet behind her. "You ready?"

"Do I have a choice?" Shay asked as she closed her eyes in anticipation of what was about to happen.

"I guess not," Dawson mumbled as she started to lean against the heavy object. "On three. One...two... three."

Dawson threw her weight against the piece of concrete and started to push. Shay closed her eyes tighter and clenched her jaw, this was a lot more painful than she was ready for. Shay's breath started to come in quick, shallow pants and she struggled to control the pain that was ripping through her. She wanted to be strong for Dawson because she knew that if she showed exactly how painful this was, Dawson would surely stop.

Dawson's right foot slid slightly on the debris as she continued to push with everything she had. This had to be done, no matter how much it was hurting Shay. Shay needed for this to happen. It was time for Dawson to start looking out for her partner instead of the other way around.

The concrete shifted slightly under Dawson's weight and the Latina had a brief moment of relief flood through her. If it was moving, even the smallest bit, that meant that she could do this. That feeling was short lived however when a scream erupted from Shay.

Dawson winced at the sound, trying to ignore the guilt that slammed into her with the sound of her partner in so much pain. She tried to channel all of the feelings that were currently fighting for dominance into strength. She even tossed up a quick prayer to any diety that was currently listening. She just needed to move this piece of debris. Then they could focus more on getting out of there.

The concrete shifted again. Shay's screams intensified and Dawson pushed harder. It was working. Shay was in an enormous amount of pain, but it was working.

Then there was silence. Dawson fought the urge to look over at her partner's face. She knew what this kind of stress and pain could do to a person. She saw it almost every day on the ambulance, so it didn't surprise her that Shay had finally succumbed to the pain and passed out. The amount of time it took for her to finally give in did surprise Dawson however.

That spoke volumes about the type of person that Leslie Shay was. Dawson grit her teeth and put all of her strength and energy into pushing on the concrete. It shifted one last time before it slid the rest of the way off of the blonde's legs.

Dawson caught herself as her body tried to follow after the debris now that it had nothing to push up against. She took a moment to steady her breathing before she even attempted to look at the damage done to Shay's legs.

A full minute passed before Dawson took a steadying breath and told herself it was no or never. She finally looked up, took in the trauma and then promptly turned and threw up. She couldn't tell if it was because of the concussion or because of the bloody, pulped mess that had once been her friend's legs.

Dawson wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. This was her worst nightmare, one she couldn't seem to wake up from. She steadied herself as much as she could before she turned back to her partner. If she could focus on the medical treatments that Shay needed, it might deter her mind from latching on to the fact that it was Shay laying there before her.

Dawson reached over to the equipment bag and pulled out all of the rolled gauze that was in there. Shay's lower extremities needed to be wrapped and splinted the best that they could considering the situation, it would help when they moved her later. She then found some metal debris that could work as splints and set to work.

It wasn't much, but it was something that she could focus on. Shay was in for a long fight and these small steps to help stabilize her injuries would help in the long run. That didn't make the situation any easier to deal with though.

Dawson chanced a quick look at her friend's face and blinked back the tears that were once again threatening to fall. She then wiped the back of her right hand across her forehead and blew out a breath before getting back to work. This was going to take a while.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Okay, here's the next chapter. I know it's ridiculously late, and unfortunately I don't have a good excuse this time. I do apologize for how long it took my lazy ass to post it. When it comes to Shay in this chapter, it may seem like she's able to ignore the amount of pain she is in. All I'm going to say is that it had to be down played a little bit and she may act like she doesn't feel much. That was necessary for some character development on Dawson's part. Plus Shay is a total bad ass and this is fanfic. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter.  
**

* * *

_"So I went to the zoo the other day and it only had one animal," Shay stated matter-of-factly from where she was checking the oxygen levels on their on board tank._

_Dawson turned to stare at her friend. "What does that even mean?"_

_"It was a shitzu."_

_Dawson scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Not this again," she said._

_Shay closed the compartment door and moved to the cabinets that held the extra blankets. It wasn't her fault that pre-shift inventory could be boring, Shay thought as she started counting the sheets for the gurney._

_"What do you get when you mix ninth grade literature with alcohol?"_

_"No Shay," Dawson protested._

_"Tequila Mockingbird!" Shay giggled at the joke and then turned to her partner when she realized that Dawson wasn't laughing with her. "Come on, Gabby," she whined. "These are priceless!"_

_"Sometimes I worry about you," Dawson countered. "A lot," she added after a short pause._

_Shay ignored her comment and let a comfortable silence settle in the ambulance. After a minute Shay couldn't help the snicker that escaped. Dawson sighed. "No more Shay. You're killing me."_

_"Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's round table?"_

_"No."_

_"Sir Cumference," Shay started to giggle again._

_"Get out."_

_"He ate too much pi!" Shay burst out laughing._

_"Oh, God." Dawson tossed a roll of tape at the blonde. It bounced off of her forehead and Shay just continued to laugh. "You're ridiculous," Dawson grumbled, but she couldn't help the smile that was tugging at the corners of her mouth._

_"You love me anyway," Shay countered immediately._

_"You? Yes. Your jokes? Not so much," Dawson deadpanned as she squeezed past the blonde and hopped out of the rig. "Give me a few minutes and then we can head down to the precinct to get fuel."_

_Shay nodded as she hopped off the ambulance as well, and leaned against the bumper. She watched as the Latina disappeared into the station house. She sighed and tried to settle the butterflies that had erupted in her stomach. She knew what she was doing, she wasn't stupid, and yet she couldn't make herself stop. All of those lame jokes were an attempt to get the brunette to laugh._

_Shay wasn't sure when she had fallen for partner. It had definitely taken her by surprise; well not the falling in love with Dawson part. That part was easy to understand. Gabriella Dawson was insanely hot, compassionate, funny, loyal, and ultimately everything Shay looked for in a woman. What had caught Shay off guard was that she had let her attraction to her friend turn into something more._

_Shay shook her head to clear her thoughts. It didn't really matter how or when it had happened, only that it did. Now she had to focus on keeping it a secret from everyone. It wouldn't do any good for Dawson to find out that she was secretly in love with her. That would only make things awkward and the tension between them unbearable. Besides, Shay thought to herself, it's better to be just friends than to lose her completely._

_Shay straightened a but as Dawson came back into the bay where she was stopped by Casey. Casey who made her smile in ways Shay could only dream of; Casey who made her happy; Casey who was perfect for her in a way that Shay could never be._

_A shock of pain rippled down from her chest and settled in her stomach. It was a pain she was all too familiar with. It was the feeling of shame, of jealousy, of not quite being good enough that made her feel cold and nauseous. She forced herself to look away and mentally kicked herself for the longing that had surged through her. Her arms itched and begged for her to hold Dawson close and never let go. Her heart screamed at her to run up to the Latina and kiss her with everything she had._

_Shay shook her head again. She needed to stop feeling this way toward the brunette. Maybe if she took some time and put some distance between them. Maybe if she started dating again._

_The pain flashed again. This time it was hot, sharp and focused in her shoulder. That isn't right, she thought. It never felt quite like that before. This was a new type of pain that was burning through her like she was on fire. It flared again and Shay cried out as she doubled over. Her vision swam as she swayed dangerously on her feet. She could just barely make out Dawson moving towards her, the concern obvious on her face. She reached out to her partner, the silent plea evident in her hazel eyes as she willed Dawson to move faster._

Please Gabby. Help me...

Xxx-xxxxx-xxX

Dawson jumped slightly as another moan erupted from Shay. This time it was laced with awareness, instead of the usual pain filled whimpers. "Gabby," Shay pleaded.

The sound ripped at Dawson's heart. There was just something so wrong with hearing such desperation and painful begging coming from the usually larger than life blonde. It didn't help that she was paler than usual and was covered in her own blood.

Dawson forced herself to look away from the horrific sight of her partner lying broken and bloodied among the debris. _There will be plenty of time to feel sorry for yourself once you get out of here. Right now you need to focus._

Shay cried out this time and Dawson shifted so she was closer to her partner's head. She roughly wiped at the tears that had been running down her cheeks. Shay wouldn't want to see her crying. "I'm here, Leslie."

Hazel eyes fluttered open, confusion swimming through them. Shay blinked a few times before her gaze darted around the area. "Where are we?"

The Latina sighed and looked down at her friend. "You don't remember?" She really didn't want to explain the situation to Shay. She didn't want to have to admit her guilt in all of this. Confessing all of that would just be too much for her to deal with right now.

The blonde blinked a few more times. "Shit, I was hoping this was a nightmare," she groaned.

Dawson smiled sadly at her friend. "Unfortunately it's not."

"How close are they?" Shay asked as her left hand reached out for something she couldn't seem to find.

Dawson watched the movement for a second before she realized what Shay was looking for. She slid her hand into Shay's and squeezed it in reassurance. "Still two hours away at least," she admitted.

Shay winced as she tried to shift into a more comfortable position.

"Good news though?" Dawson paused until Shay looked at her. "I managed to get the concrete off. Pedal pulses are strong and capillary refill is good in both feet."

Shays' eyes fluttered closed and she swallowed once, hard, and then tried to nod. She took a couple of breaths to try to calm her emotions. "Tell me about you and Casey," she croaked out when her attempts to curb her feelings failed.

"What?" Dawson asked.

"I need a distraction, and you could go on about that boy for days."

Dawson chuckled. "Honestly? I know there's never going to be anything there."

Shay's eyes shot open and focused on the chocolate ones in front of her. She studied Dawson's face and couldn't find a trace of anything except brutal honesty. Shay scoffed incredulously and then immediately hissed in pain when her shoulder shifted.

Dawson squeezed her hand in understanding. "Be careful," she quietly reprimanded.

Shay smirked once she had breathed through the pain. When it finally settled enough for her to talk again, she focused in on her partner's face. "Yeah right. Try again Gabby."

"Seriously. I know that there's too much there messing things up between us. He's still in love with Hallie. I know that. And no matter how you look at it, I'm always going to be the rebound." Dawson sighed. "It's never going to be what I want it to be."

"Then why...?" Shay asked quietly.

"It's my M.O. I fall for the utterly unobtainable."

"Why?"

Dawson shrugged in a self deprecating way. "It's easier that way I guess. You know," she paused and turned her head slightly so she didn't have to look Shay in the eye. "You know to fall in love with the ones who could never love you back."

She shrugged again. "It lets me keep believing that there's something in me that is worthy of loving, that I'm good enough to be loved." Dawson let the last part of that sentence fade off and hang between them.

Dawson closed her eyes so she didn't have to see the look of pity she knew would be written across Shay's face. In all honesty, she didn't know why she was admitting this out loud to her partner, especially when she had never admitted it to anyone before. There was just something that seemed so private and intimate about their current situation that made her feel comfortable, as messed up as that seemed.

She took a heavy breath before she continued. "If I pick the person that I know _can't_ fall in love with me, then I don't have to worry about rejection. If he can't reject me, then I can hold on to that hope that maybe one day I can be loved."

Dawson paused again and shook her head before she looked up at the ceiling. She let out a shaky breath, "It's messed up, I know. But I feel safer hating myself for loving someone who is already in love with someone else than I would hating myself for being unloveable." Her voice broke as the emotion building in her voice forced her to stop talking.

"Stop being stupid," Shay countered.

"What?" Dawson asked as she tried to blink away the tears forming in her eyes.

"You're more than enough," Shay struggled to get out.

"Oh? Tell that to Justin Porter."

"Who the hell is that?" Shay demanded as strongly as she could.

"The love of my life in third grade," Dawson answered seriously.

Shay snorted out a laugh before the pain stopped her movement again.

Dawson smiled as she smoothed some hair away from Shay's face with her free hand. "You laugh, but that boy broke my heart. He was such a heartthrob, and I asked him to be my valentine."

"What happened?"

"He laughed at me."

"Well, he's an idiot," Shay remarked.

"Seriously though," Dawson continued, "I think the idea of someone being able to love me scares the ever loving shit out of me. I mean look at me, there's not much here to like, let alone love."

"Shut up, Gabriella." Shay argued.

"What? It's true."

"No, it's not," Shay wheezed. "Do you know how amazing you are?"

"The blood loss is getting to you," Dawson tried to joke.

"I'm being serious. I would date you."

"You would?" Dawson asked in disbelief.

"Hell yes! You're exactly...what I look for...in a woman."

"I don't know. I guess I just don't see what you do," Dawson shrugged her shoulders noncommittally as she tried to ignore how broken Shay's speech had become. It seemed like Shay had to take longer pauses between words to catch her breath.

"If Casey doesn't see...how amazing you are...he's an idiot."

Dawson laughed this time. "Not all men are idiots, Shay."

Shay quirked an eyebrow, "No? Name one."

Dawson thought for a second and then her eyebrows slid together in concentration. She opened her mouth to answer and then quickly closed it. She opened it again as confusion settled on her features.

"See? You can't do it," Shay smiled in victory though it didn't quite reach her eyes, and really looked more like a grimace.

"I'll think of one," Dawson countered.

"Not possible."

"Chief Boden!" Dawson declared. "He's not an idiot."

"Sometimes he is," Shay countered.

Dawson rolled her eyes. "Everyone is an idiot sometimes Shay. No one is perfect."

"I am," Shay fired back almost immediately.

Dawson's features softened as she smiled down at the blonde and tucked some more hair behind her partner's ear. "Yeah. I guess you are."

Confusion darkened hazel eyes and Shay opened her mouth to ask what the hell that was supposed to mean. Before she could ask that very important question, she was interrupted as the whole world shook around them.

Dawson quickly bent herself over Shay's head to protect the injured woman in case any large pieces of debris came crashing down around them. They both squeezed their eyes shut in anticipation for the pain that would inevitably follow being hit by falling chunks of concrete.

Just as quickly as it had started, the shaking stopped. Both women waited a beat longer for the pain to come, and when it didn't Dawson slowly peeked one eye open. She was immediately met by the relief filled gaze of Shay. Dawson let out the breath she had been holding and let her head drop further down so her forehead was resting against her partner's.

Shay swallowed hard and tried to calm her raging heartbeat. Even with the extreme pain and extensive injuries, she was still having a hard time staying calm with Dawson so close. Everything in her was screaming for her to just accept the position they were in and simply let it be. Obviously Dawson needed to be this close for a reason. Maybe the close proximity was reassuring to the brunette. Shay let her eyes slide closed as she let Dawson's presence wash over her, and cover her like a warm blanket. She definitely felt safer with Dawson holding her like this.

"Shay," Dawson breathed out in a shaky sigh. "Shay, look at me."

The blonde took as deep a breath as she could manage and then reluctantly opened her eyes, only to be met by tear filled brown ones staring back at her. "Shay," Dawson pleaded, her voice becoming more desperate. "Don't leave me." That sentence carried so much weight between them, it made the atmosphere settle tighter around them.

"Dawson," Shay started.

"Please stay."

"I'm still here Gabby. Casey and Severide..." Shay's features screwed together in confusion as Dawson sighed and angrily pulled away. "Won't let anything else happen. What's wrong?"

Dawson shook her head as she straightened. "Nothing."

Shay tugged on Dawson's hand. "Don't do that. Don't pull away."

"I'm not."

"You are. What's going on?"

Dawson looked down at her partner with an emotion that Shay couldn't place. "It's not... I don't know..." Dawson groaned in frustration. "I need you, Shay."

"You have me," Shay answered sincerely. "Where is this coming from?"

"It's more than that, I can't explain it."

_"Dawson. Shay. You guys okay?"_

Chief Boden's voice crackled through the radio. Both women ignored it; neither wanting to stop whatever it was that was currently developing between them.

_"Dawson! Shay! Can you hear me?"_

Shay broke the eye contact first as Dawson released Shay's hand to answer the radio. "Yeah, we're okay. Just stop trying to bring this place down on top of us."

_"Not funny."_ Casey's voice replied.

"How much longer, Matt?"

_"We're getting through this faster than we thought; maybe an hour."_

Shay looked at her partner. "Dawson? I'm getting cold," she said with a whimper.

Dawson winced at how young and vulnerable Shay's voice sounded. "Okay, Sweetie. They're coming." She reached down to stroke Shay's cheek a few times before she keyed the mic. "Step on it guys, Shay is getting worse."

_"We're working on it. Just hang in there."_

Dawson sighed as she let the radio fall back and hang on the strap. She reached out and took a hold of Shay's hand again. "You know," Dawson started, "I was always jealous of Clarice. Just a little bit."

When Shay didn't answer, Dawson tugged on her hand and then intertwined their fingers. "You hear me?" she asked her partner.

Shay blinked a few times and looked up at Dawson. "What?"

Dawson smiled down at Shay. "I said I was always a little jealous of Clarice."

Shay grunted in response.

Dawson furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Don't you want to know why?"

"Obvious. She got to date me," Shay tried to smirk in response.

Dawson chuckled. "Valid point. It was because she could always make you laugh. And you had a smile that was specifically hers."

"You have...one too."

"One what?" Dawson asked.

"Severide says," Shay paused to take a breath. "That I smile differently," another breath. "When it comes to you."

Dawson squeezed Shay's hand. "I knew it. You _do_ like me," she smiled teasingly down at the blonde.

Shay snorted out a short laugh and then started coughing violently. Dawson rubbed light circles on the back of Shay's hand with her thumb. "Just breathe, Shay. It's okay," she soothed.

Shay continued to cough a few more times and then tried to take a breath. It came out more of a gasp. She tried again, this time her whole chest arched as she tried to suck much needed air into her lungs. Shay's face contorted in fear and panic shone brightly in her eyes.

Dawson leaned over to get a better look at her friend's face. "Shay? What is it?"

Shay tried to take a few more breaths before she wheezed out four words that made Dawson's blood turn to ice and her heart drop in her stomach.

"Getting...harder...to...breathe."


End file.
